User #9087 "Drew McStinson"

Collected Data from User #9087 "Drew McStinson" on April 19, 2033. 2:07pm PST.

Dr. 949

“You’ve just completed your third session in the DreamWorks 3 Series, thus enabling you to have a realistic experience in your virtual subconscious. How do you feel?”

#9087 “Drew”

“Awesome. I feel awesome.”

Dr. 949

“Can you please describe what your experience was using DreamWorks 3?”

#9087 “Drew”

“Did you know that in our infinite universe, there's a planet made of jelly. There's stars having sex using dildos and stuff. There's armies of water bottles throwing pecans and almonds at rebellious bands of leather wallets. There's the complete opposite of that, too. There's girls, guys; electrons, protons; neutrons! That's a good one; there's a solar system that looks like Bob Geldof. There's aliens who are nine feet tall. There's aliens that are eight feet tall. There's aliens that are feet. There's aliens that are nine. There's... everything.”

Dr. 949

“What? Nine-zero-eight-seven, are you aware of your reality?”

#9087 “Drew”

“Yeah man, let’s go see these nine-feet tall aliens.”

Dr. 949

“Nine-zero-eight-seven, you are in a high security facility in *name of city omitted from records*, there are not any aliens in the area.”

#9087 “Drew”

“What are you talking about? I just saw one five minutes ago. Is he hiding? What happened to the armies of water bottles?”

Dr. 949

“Nine-zero-eight-seven, we need you to lay back and breathe deeply. We are concerned about your awareness of reality. We are going to keep you here for some more tests.”

Note: User #9087 was unable to distinguish reality from virtual reality for twenty-seven minutes and fifty-three seconds. This is the longest period of time any user has been out of touch with reality because of their use of DreamWorks 3. We are working and researching to resolve the potential detriments.